Friday, November 13, 2009

Horizontally bisected eyelids

Screw good writing.

Here's some bad stuff.

My nomination for the dubious title of worst-written book set in Winnipeg – in the 21st century, anyway: Langside, self-published in 2006 by prolific Vancouver punk Chris Walter.

Check out Page 22 for the comma-free musings of Walter’s lovelorn protagonist Sky:

“But of all the features that captivated him it was Cindy’s eyelids that made his heart burst with desire. Her heavy lids made her appear as if she had just woken from a long and restful sleep. Bisected horizontally with a gentle crease the lids covered her beautiful brown eyes like a curtain of the most delicate material known to man.”

Walter vomits his creations on the world through GoFuckYerself Press.

Hey, you! Got a better nomination?

1 comment:

  1. He spoke last night at the West End and treated everybody to disorganized ramblings about how he used to take drugs. That was about it, but then he read from his newest book Punch The Boss. It was amusing and I picked up a copy. I'll let you know if there are any horizontally bisected slits. At least they weren't vertical!